Hello and welcome to Haute Herald, (basically) your one stop for food, fashion, advice, and all that other (fl/st)uff you probably wouldn’t expect from a super serious moderately conservative paper! But life is full of surprises, one of which being that not all politically-minded student journalists are stuffy. In fact, some of us are quite sexy!* I’m H, and I’d like you all to think of me as your Hostess in this column, meaning that I’m eager to provide you with anything you think would make your visit to the Herald a little more fun. At Haute Herald, you can expect delicious recipes and restaurant reviews, fashion commentary and inspiration, and answers to whatever may be bothering your pretty little head. Got an issue? Need advice? I’m full of unbiased honesty and complete anonymity, so feel free to send me a message and I’ll go to any length to help you out.
Anyway, as a hostess welcoming you all to the party-that-is-my-column, I feel that it’s appropriate to offer you all a drink. I’m guessing that as students, you all imbibe an equally gargantuan ratio of coffee and of alcohol, but combining the two seems to happen less frequently. I mean, Khalua from the SAQ is kinda like Blue Curacao in that, no matter how tasty it is, you feel a little silly buying it, and that Starbucks-brand coffee liquor they sell just tastes like no. However, this little cocktail here is not only a super freakin’ delicious way to get your perky drink on, but can be made entirely with stuff I bet you have in your kitchen already. At least, I had it all in mine…
For H’s ridiculously awesome/easy homemade Khalua you’ll need:
Two cups water
1.5 TBS instant coffee granules
1 ¼ cups sugar
.5 TBS vanilla extract
1 ¼ cups Vodka, baby.
Step One: Combine water, sugar, and coffee granules in a pot, and bring it to a boil. As soon as the mixture boils (and it shall do so in a rapid and bubbly manner) turn the heat to medium-low.
Step Two: Let simmer for 1 ½ to 2 hours, stirring occasionally. When the mixture is syrupy enough to coat the back of a spoon, take it off the stove.
Step Three: Stir in vanilla and vodka.
Step Four: Call somebody, tell them you just made Khalua, and proceed to add it to mixed drinks, pour it over ice cream, or do as I just did and fill yourself a nice glass with some ice, some K, and top it off with a bit of cream. Touché, caloric intake, touché.
Your Khalua will last for three months in a cool place. But you’ll probably finish it before then.
Alright my little muffins, thanks for reading the world’s first ever Haute Herald. I’ll be sharing a private email at which you can contact me with all your issues or article requests soon, but until then how about you leave me a wee comment describing your favourite way of ingesting coffee. Cappuccino? Mocha Fudge Crunch Ben & Jerry’s? Swirled into your yogurt? Hit me. Until next time,
* Unsubstantiated fact! The P.A.H. has yet to have a full group social, so for all I know, none of us are actually sexy. Sorry.