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Ty Mills

The employment of chickens and other topics

Composer, mathematician, and satirist, Tom Lehrer eloquently defined, likely unintentionally, one of the dirty little contradictions of modern day life in his tune Poisoning Pigeons in the Park. My favorite especially darkly comedic line goes: “We’ll murder them all among laughter and merriment, except for the few we take home to experiment!” Speaking only for myself, I couldn’t help but observe that line to be a beautiful and succinct summation of the current animal-human relationship.Lets coldly and rationally examine a few facts of reality. Everyday across our great red-blooded continent, almost every family sits down to dinner, and, with the help of our molar endowments, launches an all-out assault on a hunk of dead animal. Indeed, this ritualistic flesh-eating exercise is exactly when the majority of familial social bonding occurs. How nice! Individuals crudely yank their dogs along ropes, hesitatingly picking up poop, whilst continuing their selfish small-talk fueled hikes. Those lucky canines aren’t the big teary-eyed cute little mutts getting plucked into euthanization every eight seconds. How about those horrifyingly grizzly cock fighting shows where roosters puncture through each other in an epic gladiatorial fight to the death? Not to mention the noble and stoic livestock employed – erm – exploited needlessly for the enjoyment of rodeo fans. These “sports” are put on while we laugh, with little concern for the well being of sometimes very frightened animals.Dear reader, if you have not felt the slightest twinge of emotion, then either you straight-up are a sociopath, I have failed in using an excessive amount of emotionally charged adjectives, or most hopefully you were wise enough to take my advice in examining these facts pushing aside blind emotion, coldly and with consideration for reason.In all the above-mentioned examples, animals had ought be very gracious for the position they have been put… Read More